Physically I am in a lot of pain, my ankle still hurts and the pain pills don’t seem to do much. But each day seems to get better, and I think in a week or two it should stop hurting for the most part. I’m also uncomfortable all the time, but oh well.
Mentally I am a mess. There have been multiple breakdowns. So much of the past few years as revolved around being active. From starting the Couch to 5k programs to running marathons, and then racing cyclocross. And now I can’t do anything and feel like part of my identity has been taken away. But once I feel a bit better I intend to pick up some hobbies. A few friends have talked about starting a knitting circle, which will probably be a good way to keep my hands busy.
I went to the doctor yesterday for my first check-up. There really isn’t much to report. They took off my first cast so I did get to see my ankle/foot. It looked gross, there are stitches on both sides and I am missing some skin from the top of my foot. My foot is also still really swollen. But it seems to be on the track to healing. I torn off a chunk of bone near my joint and this will likely cause me problems for the rest of my life. I tore a bunch of nerves in my foot but they have started healing which is a really bizarre feeling. But I intend on getting back to being as active as my body allows. After that they put a new cast on. I go back in 2 weeks and hope to have more (better?) news.
But in an effort to keep a positive mindset here are some good things!
I am lucky that I just broke my ankle. This could have been a lot worse. I am actually surprised I didn’t break my hand
. I try to keep the whole things in perspective and it’s great that I am only dealing with this.
My job/coworkers/manager, I feel so blessed to be in my current position. I am able to work from home for as long as I need. This lifts so much weight off my shoulders. I don’t have to take a leave from work OR deal with taking the bus to work. Besides the obvious income part of working I am happy that I do have something to keep me occupied during the day.
My friends. I didn’t have an easy time moving to Philly and making friends. I met a lot of people but developing actual friendships took a long time. But oh my gosh, I am amazed at how awesome my friends have been through this ordeal. From all the kind texts, Facebook messages, awesome vegan food, cards, visits…it has been amazing and definitely kept me in good spirits. There has been no small gesture, the simplest things help so much.
My family. I was able to go home for Christmas, where I did nothing except move from the bed to the couch. I wasn’t feeling well and was very grumpy. But it felt good to be home and feel loved and taken care of.
Eric’s family. Having the love of a second family is amazing. They came to Philly after their Christmas to help out and it was great. I am so lucky to have them in my life.
Eric…I don’t even think I can explain how thankful I am for him. He’s always been great, but he really stepped it up these past few weeks. He seriously has to do everything for me, and without him I don’t even know where I would be.
Well it seems that writing about this process is actually pretty good therapy, so maybe this injury means I will actually write more.